answersLogoWhite

0


Best Answer

Because you believe the best in people and take them at face value. You believe in giving praise and encouragement instead of criticism. I have been married to a narcissist. It was my second marriage and lasted 9 years and he has just cheated on me and lied to me in ways I find unbelievable. he is now busy in his new fantasy land relationship, denigrating me. Fortunately I have lots of friends who have realised what he was like and are keeping me sane. He has been through strings of relationships. I know I am fortunate I can walk away but he filled my life.

On the face of it, there is no (emotional) partner or mate, who typically "binds" with a narcissist. They come in all shapes and sizes. The initial phases of attraction, infatuation and falling in love are pretty normal. The narcissist puts on his best face ? the other party is blinded by budding love. A natural selection process occurs only much later, as the relationship develops and is put to the test.

Living with a narcissist can be exhilarating, is always onerous, often harrowing. Surviving a relationship with a narcissist indicates, therefore, the parameters of the personality of the Survivor. She (or, more rarely, he) is moulded by the relationship into The Typical Narcissistic Mate/Partner/Spouse.

First and foremost, the narcissist's partner must have a deficient or a distorted grasp of her self and of reality. Otherwise, she (or he) is bound to abandon the narcissist's ship early on. The cognitive distortion is likely to consist of belittling and demeaning herself ? while aggrandising and adoring the narcissist. The partner is, thus, placing himself in the position of the eternal victim: undeserving, punishable, a scapegoat. Sometimes, it is very important to the partner to appear moral, sacrificial and victimised. At other times, she is not even aware of this predicament. The narcissist is perceived by the partner to be a person in the position to demand these sacrifices from her partner, being superior in many ways (intellectually, emotionally, morally, financially).

The status of professional victim sits well with the partner's tendency to punish herself, namely: with her masochistic streak. The tormented life with the narcissist is, as far as the partner is aware, a just punitive measure.

In this respect, the partner is the mirror image of the narcissist. By maintaining a symbiotic relationship with him, by being totally dependent upon the source of masochistic supply (which the narcissist most reliably constitutes and most amply provides) ? the partner enhances certain traits and encourages certain behaviours, which are at the very core of Narcissism.

The narcissist is never whole without an adoring, submissive, available, self-denigrating partner. His very sense of superiority, indeed his False Self, depends on it. His sadistic Superego switches its attentions from the narcissist (in whom it often provokes suicidal ideation) to the partner, thus finally obtaining an alternative source of sadistic satisfaction.

It is through self-denial that the partner survives. She denies her wishes, hopes, dreams, aspirations, sexual, psychological and material needs, and much else besides. She perceives her needs as threatening because they might engender the wrath of the narcissist's God-like supreme figure. The narcissist is rendered in her eyes even more superior through and because of this self-denial. Self-denial undertaken to facilitate and ease the life of a "great man" is more palatable. The "greater" the man (=the narcissist), the easier it is for the partner to ignore her own self, to dwindle, to degenerate, to turn into an appendix of the narcissist and, finally, to become nothing but an extension, to merge with the narcissist to the point of oblivion and of dim memories of one's self.

The two collaborate in this macabre dance. The narcissist is formed by his partner inasmuch as he forms her. Submission breeds superiority and masochism breeds sadism. The relationships are characterised by rampant emergentism: roles are allocated almost from the start and any deviation meets with an aggressive, even violent reaction.

The predominant state of the partner's mind is utter confusion. Even the most basic relationships ? with husband, children, or parents ? remain bafflingly obscured by the giant shadow cast by the intensive interaction with the narcissist. A suspension of judgment is part and parcel of a suspension of individuality, which is both a prerequisite to and the result of living with a narcissist. The partner no longer knows what is true and right and what is wrong and forbidden.

The narcissist recreates for the partner the sort of emotional ambience that led to his own formation in the first place: capriciousness, fickleness, arbitrariness, emotional (and physical or sexual) abandonment. The world becomes uncertain and frightening and the partner has only one thing to cling to: the narcissist.

And cling she does. If there is anything which can safely be said about those who emotionally team up with narcissists, it is that they are overtly and overly dependent.

The partner doesn't know what to do ? and this is only too natural in the mayhem that is the relationship with the narcissist. But the typical partner also does not know what she wants and, to a large extent, who she is and what she wants to become.

These unanswered questions hamper the partner's ability to gauge reality, evaluate and appraise it for what it is. Her primordial sin is that she fell in love with an image, not with a real person. It is the voiding of the image that is mourned when the relationship ends.

ANSWER

You may have been raised by a narcissistic parent which makes you a magnet for them.

Ive been raised by a narsistic father and mother and brother and sister!

And i always seem to attract men into my life that are narcisists, and i don't get it

Why do you think if you have been raised my a narcissistic parent you become a magnet for them?? pls explaine, Ta :)

User Avatar

Wiki User

8y ago
This answer is:
User Avatar
More answers
User Avatar

Wiki User

13y ago

Answer 1:

Flattery, even if totally transparent, works 100%.

Answer 2:

By being an empathic,non judgemental,loving and caring person with a strong personality and independent...They want to be like you so he will suck you dry till is nothing over from you self esteem ,personality and sometimes,money......

Answer 3:

Having a strong personality and being independent will never attract a narcissist. They are traits that someone used by a narcissist may wish to have, but had they had them, would not have been able to be used. Possibly they may develop such traits after being burned.

Also, a narcissist does not want to be like anyone. They hardly notice anyone except in so far as they are assisting him/her - that is, letting themselves be used by him/her.

This answer is:
User Avatar

User Avatar

Wiki User

10y ago

Opinion

Well, when you first meet a narcisstic person they are so nice, charming, kind, complimentary you are totally drawn to that person. You think , OMG, I really like this person and they are so different. All will stay like this until they con you a little more and have you in their clutches and under their thumb and totally are in control of you and your life and then WHAM!!! they take it all away. I would say it is a conquer and destroy situation with these kind of whatever they are so you would be smart to stay clear and find someone who is classified as real and human.

Opinion

In most cases, the narcissist is extremely adept at choosing needy people to whom they can attach themselves. Often, the victim also has some issues that make them vulnerable to the ploys utilized by a narcissist. Many victims continue to be a victim even after the mistreatment begins. This is evidenced by the many people asking how to get over a narcissist, how to stop loving a narcissist, how to get them back, etc. If they were mentally healthy and rational, they would recognize their misfortune of being won over by a pretender and be thankful they got out of the relationship.

This answer is:
User Avatar

Add your answer:

Earn +20 pts
Q: Why people are attracted to a person with narcissism?
Write your answer...
Submit
Still have questions?
magnify glass
imp
Related questions

How do you use narcissism in scentence?

When a person displays extreme narcissism they are extremely difficult to get along with in every day life.When a person displays extreme narcissism they are extremely difficult to get along with in every day life.When a person displays extreme narcissism they are extremely difficult to get along with in every day life.When a person displays extreme narcissism they are extremely difficult to get along with in every day life.


What is it when someone is sexually attracted to themselves?

Sexual attraction to oneself is called autosexuality or autoplushophilia. It involves being sexually aroused by one's own physical appearance or characteristics.


Why do people avoid people they are attracted to?

Sometimes people avoid or rather try to avoid people they are attracted to because they are afraid of being rejected from that person or they are shy and don't know how to act around that person.


Sentence for narcissism?

Kelly's narcissism prevented her from forming genuine friendships with other people. Another phrase for narcissism is self-absorption. It is a noun.


What famous people have narcissism?

all of them


What percentage of people in Australia suffer from narcissism?

I would imagine a great deal. Narcissism is an epidemic and it is global.


What is a person called that pretends everything is their idea?

Are you referring to narcissism.


First sign showing of a person being gay?

They are sexually attracted to people of the same sex, and not of the opposite sex. There are no "signs", just whether a person is attracted or not.


Why do you like the same guy again is there as specific reason?

Yes, people seem to be attracted to types of people. If you don't like the type of person you are attracted to then what you need to do is figure out what it is about them that attracts you. Some people are attracted to people who seem helpless so they want to "fix" them and this doesn't work in the long term. Others are attracted to people for various reasons. Often women look for person who is like their father. If their father beat their mother they are apt to find a person who is abusive and controlling. People also get into a type of relationship that is bad for them and they keep returning to it. So, what you need to do is figure out why you are attracted to the same person and break that pattern of behavior.


How does one realize they are a narcissist?

Well, one good way is to encourage the person to participate in an assessment. One for narcissism is available at the related link.Well, one good way is to encourage the person to participate in an assessment. One for narcissism is available at the related link.Well, one good way is to encourage the person to participate in an assessment. One for narcissism is available at the related link.Well, one good way is to encourage the person to participate in an assessment. One for narcissism is available at the related link.


Why do people like legs?

People are attracted to different body parts. Some like a person's eyes, others prefer hair, some like a tanned person. It is all personal preferences. In the same manner, some people are attracted to legs.


What is panisexual?

Panisexual is a person who is attracted to people who are gay,lesbian or straight.