Why is your marriage sexless and what can you do about it?

Answer 1

It could be a couple of things if he/she not spending anytime with you always away from home don't want to do anything with you it might be a another man/woman.

It could also be that his/her libido has gone down and sex doesn't interest them as much as it once did. There could be medical & hormonal causes--if the spouse would cooroperate a full medical checkup is indicated, including checking thyroid and testosteron levels--important for both men and women.

It could also be due to depresession, or as a side effect of anti-depressive drugs. Some anti-depressive drugs do not negatively effect libido or might even positively affect it-selegiline for example. If he/she would cooperate sex therapy or "sex coaching" (do a search on the term) would be worth trying.

A person in this situation needs to have a very frank discussion with their husband or wife, and find out why their spouse doesn't want to have sex with them. You might not like the answers (there could be multiple reasons given). It may be as simple as they no longer love you and do not find you sexually desirable.

If your spouse won't have sex with you, and there is no medical reason, or if there is a medical reason he/she won't pursue medical treatment, then ideally you need to get a divorce. You deserve the physical pleasure of sex, the emotional connection that only sexual intimacy brings, and the affirmation of your worth that comes from being sexually desired.

If for some reason you don't want to do that, then tell him/her that you now have an "open" marriage, and you will be getting your sexual and intimacy needs met elsewhere. Perhaps he/she will do the same. If they are not OK with this perhaps this will shock them into taking action.