Why do narcissists hurt people?

Answer 1

I can tell you a couple of the reasons why, as I am going through loads of relationship questions with MY N right now.

They take what they know bothers their partner the most, as early on in the relationship she or he was trusting enough to bare the soul to the N and they use it against them.

I've found out that most partners of Ns are warm and caring - their favorite victims. In my case - my N knows that I live for "total intimacy" with my partner as we discussed it's importance many times when he was pretending to be that "other person".

The N then uses the silent treatment, apathy or a general current of hosility to throw their partner off balance. One of the reasons is a need for the N to find out exactly how much control they have over you. Another reason is to "punish" you for something you failed to do or some wrong you DID (and most likely are unaware of). Of course, if you ask your N about it they will deny, deny, deny it.

• I believe the narcissist also uses the silent treatment as a way to get a reaction from his partner. All narcissist use the silencing technique as a way to validate the amount of control they have over a person. Like many of us, we would ask a narcissist what is wrong, why are you ignoring me, etc. This allows the narcissist power and control. It allows him/her the power to do whatever they wish and when you don't accept their behavior or reject their behavior, they will then use the silencing tool again to draw you back to hell.

Answer 2

Having lived 22 yrs. with an N woman (my wife), I feel qualified to express an answer. Its been my experience that those who "put down others", do so to create a heightened self-image. If you can't climb the mountain, bring the mountain down to below you. The "woe is me" attitude is generally displayed, and if ignored, expect some negative response. I sincerely hope this enlightens those that required an answer. Have a wonderful day, keep smiling and above all, stay safe. Because they think they are better and you are nothing most times. Yes, this is the give-away, or red flag. It is the most dominant feature of the narcissist. Slang for narcissist is "bully". They can't improve. They must have lower I.Q.'s or are lazy. They dont' focus or have given up on self-improvement. The only other solution is to lower everyone else around them. It's a relative thing. They feel so low, that it makes them feel so good to have someone lower than they are. They are jealous. Very jealous, sarcastic people. Eye-rolling. They hate braggarts, but they brag themselves at it's ok when they brag. They are 5 years old. Never grew up and are still stuck ont he playgournd. They are playing king of the hill and last one there is rotton egg. They feel like they are inadequate and that people are judging them just as harshly as they judge others. They don't appreciate individuality and regular, average American beauty. Since they don't like it in others, they don't like it in themselves. This translates to others not liking them. They can have a minute freckle that nobody gives a rats tail about, but in their mind, it is a gigantic mole. They are so rude. They will complain about how fat they are to a fat person.

Answer 3

Lots of reasons. Because they see their own weakness mirrored back at them or they are enviouss of people who are popular and good at what they do and do it with ease which they despise as it makes them feel inadequate and affects their fragile ego and they can't have that now can they, because they are special and better than anyone else. In modern day speak- Dude alot of reasons! They like look in a mirror and see like other people and their like, "Dude! I wana be like her/him!" So they strut around with shopping bags. They also strut around going, "I AM SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU!!!!"

Answer 4

A narcissistic person hurts others because they put their own needs before others. Oftentimes, they can't help but hurt others.