Why do women tolerate abuse?

Answer 1

It's hard for a woman to get over a verbally abusive man because the abuse was directed at her self-esteem and self-confidence rather than her physically. People look at a woman who's been physically abused and they can obviously see the injuries caused by the abuse, but with verbal abuse it's different because no one can see that you've been continuously that you're ugly, stupid, not worth the time of day, no one will ever love you and that the abuser is all you deserve. You believe it. You end up feeling so degraded that you can hardly function because it's all you've been told by someone who says they love you. To heal from verbal abuse a woman has to first get away from the abuser which is hard, then seek counseling where she can gain her self-esteem and self-confidence back. Then she must realize what was it that made her susceptible to an abuser in the first place. It takes years for a woman who has been abused to fully heal, but more so with psychological and verbal abuse because they are directed at the woman's mind and she begins to doubt herself. Only about 1 out of 2000 women abused are abused in just one form.

Answer 2

They Think the first time will be the last or they have low self esteem. Most abusive relationships are not always abusive they have periods where no abuse goes on so they stop considering it a possibility.

Answer2: Why are so many women locked into such dangerous relationships? Many people wonder: Why don't they seek help? Why don't they leave? The answer, in most cases, is fear. Fear has been called the distinguishing feature of domestic violence. Abusive men typically control their wives with violence and then silence them with death threats. Even if the battered wife does find the courage to seek help, she may not always receive it. This is a tendency, even among people who abhor other forms of violence, to trivialize, ignore, or justify violence perpetrated by husbands. Also, outside his home the abusive husband may appear to be charming. Often friends cannot believe that he beats his wife. Disbelieved and with nowhere to run, many abused wives feel that they have no alternative but to live in constant fear. Battered women who do leave sometimes becomes victims of stalking. Imagine their fear. Someone who has threatened you continues to turn up where you go. He phones you, follows you, watches you and waits for you. He may even kill your pet. It is a campaign of terror.

(excerpt from 8/8/05 Awake "Why Do So Many Live in Fear on Jehovah's Witnesses official website.)

Answer 3

many of reasons.... maybe they are pregnant and don't wanna fight for custody of the child; maybe they think he won't do it again; maybe they think they deserved it; or maybe they have low self-esteem and let him beat up on her

Answer 4

The victim of abuse in a relationship often starts to feel the relationship is not right, but develops a futile and unhealthy hope and wish for it to become right. They have trouble acting on rational reality because their judgment to act in the interests of their own emotional health becomes infringed by the emotional intimacy inherent in every relationship (abusive or healthy).

This wiki-answerer's belief is that the battered wife syndrome is pretty much the same emotional attachment every person in a relationship feels, the weirdness one feels in never having felt that way before and the way it changes a person's thoughts and actions ... but in an abusive relationship, the behavior of the other person and the unhealthy failing of the relationship twist that attachment to the other person. It is not a personal failing nor weakness on the part of the abuse victim. They are made emotionally unhealthy because the are emotionally attached to another person in an unhealthy relationship; they did not choose for the other person to abuse them and thus have absolutely no responsibility for the ill consequences to themselves that result.

Answer 5

I used to ask the same question. In fact I was in an abusive relationship and asked that question about other women I knew. No one in their right mind would stay with a man or woman they believed was abusing them. By design abuse takes away the victim's power and if a person is raised in a home that does not teach good boundaries the victim cannot effectively process what is happening. The relationship may be on high alert but after the make up she sees rainbows and butterflies. Society teaches especially women to make sacrifices as well as the fact that it is petty and destructive to a relationship to keep score. In church I even learned that Jesus was God's gift to us so that we may find forgiveness and that Jesus wants us also to be forgiving. Forgiving was a spiritual experience for many years. Also statistically if our family is broken our children will end up growing up in poverty and end up in jail. By the time it is obvious you are being abused you don't have the power to leave. In my case my ex flat out told me after being with him for twenty years I didn't have any qualities or skills. There was literally nothing special about me so why should he stay with me? He also said he knew how to treat a woman but couldn't treat me like one. By then I had already been dehumanized to the point I could not even argue with with him about the malicious statements.

Your mind becomes your worst enemy because it provides you with reasons to stay. In my case, my ex-husband's abuse started by lying about things he knew would make me not want to date him in the first place. You see I actually would have made different choices had he simply been honest. Lying to us takes our freedom of choice away and we don't even know it's happened. He then used my strong sense of compassion and loving nature to convince me he was neglected and deprived by his parents. It wasn't until 15 years later I realized he had lied about many of the things that broke my heart to hear when I was only 17 years old. He even went so far as to say he had health conditions that did not exist so that I would feel bad for him if we had an argument. I was young and even though I had experienced abuse, I couldn't fathom someone lying like that. Then it was broken promises where once again the reasons made any compassionate being want to not only forgive him but apologize for being angry. Then "teasing".

I got pregnant, my family disowned me so we got married then he started ignoring me when I spoke if he were listening to music or playing a video game. He said I was too sensitive and laugh at my "funny" face when I cried.

My son was three days old the first time he shook him and said he was going to hit him and I had no one to turn to. There were no women's shelters in Warfordsburg PA. He said he was tired and didn't mean it. By then I believed him because I needed to believe him. I was desperate to believe him.

I "handled" the finances but if there was ever any extra money he wanted to spend it on his hobbies. If I made him angry he would overdraw the account. The harder I tried the more careless he became of my feelings and if I confronted him he would tell the old stories of how he grew up once again reminding me of his unfortunate upbringing and why it should justify why we should have four VCR's and no dining room table.

Hopefully this wasn't too long and drawn out. I have memories that had been suppressed for years.

Answer 6

women tolerate abuse because of their love to man, but sometimes not cause of love but for the sake their children or either their dignity in the public.

Answer 7

They aren't you feminist retard. Women can be abusive and so can men so get stuffed

Answer 8

the same