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You could have just said the magic words "having sex!" There is a difference from just having sex and making love. When a guy says "I love having sex" I get the feeling it's "slam, bang, thank you ma'm!" Making love is an art form (anyone can do it) and it's about pleasing each other in mind, body and spirit. It's the closest two people in love can ever get to sharing each other. Foreplay is extremely important in a relationship. Foreplay can be having a romantic dinner, being in a huge bath tub full of bubbles with candles and a bottle of wine to sip on. Long walks on the beach, communicating with each other as to what makes each other feel good while practicing foreplay and there will be some likes and dislikes with your wife so listen to what she is saying! Here is a good tip ... Put blindfolds on (as if you were blind) and then trace each other's bodies with your finger tips and also use your sense of smell. It's amazing the sensation you can get by exploring each other's bodies without actually seeing what you are doing. It takes work! She could find she is just used for sex and has no romantic rush from you so in her mind "what's the point!" Simply put, it takes more thought to make love (not having just sex) to keep sex active in your marriage. Sit down with your wife and communicate. Ask her why she doesn't feel like making love and if she has something to say open up your ears and listen! If she has nothing to say then suggest to her that she sees her doctor and has a good physical check-up PLUS a blood test to see what her hormone levels are. Also she should have her thyroid (T3/T4) and adrenal gland checked (blood test as well.) There could be some physical reason for this. Also, anyone on certain medications, especially SSRIs that are used for depression certainly lowers the libido. The fact you came on this board to ask this question means you are a good husband. It would be easy in most guy's eyes to simply go out and cheat! Nice to see someone like you care enough to ask the question. Good luck! She's telling you that something is missing and that maybe you need to work on the relationship. Some women tend to have less of a sex drive after they've been married a while, especially if there are children and a lot of routine around the house for which they feel responsible. Sometimes they just need a little romance; a night away from it all, maybe a mini-vacation. Send flowers for no reason except to say that you care. Have no expectation when you do that otherwise it can just make her feel manipulated. You're trying to get her to be "in love" again. Yes, she probably cares about you and even loves you, but the spark can leave after you've been married a while, and since guys are "always ready", we tend to not notice that women seem to need a little extra attention, until it's too late and they've lost interest. If the problem has become too severe for you to handle with a trip or some flowers, maybe it would be good to seek the advice of a marriage counselor. What you're describing is the most common problem they face. My advice, take care of the problem now before it degrades into infidelity and an unresolvable problem in your marriage.

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Q: What should you do when you and your wife are in your 20s and she has told you she doesn't have a sex drive anymore and you love having sex?
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