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Well , this is not a joke but rhyme.

With confidence I know I can do this task, A vote from you is all I ask.

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βˆ™ 11y ago
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Anonymous

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βˆ™ 3y ago
thank you
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Anonymous

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βˆ™ 3y ago
pretty good
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Lilly Hogan

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βˆ™ 4mo ago
thank you
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Andric Pereira

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βˆ™ 4mo ago
thanks i can win school captain now
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βˆ™ 9y ago

There are many ways to work a joke into a primary school captain's speech. One could choose to comment on being on the ball for example.

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βˆ™ 9y ago

For the most part, the speech should be formal and professional. Not only are you trying to attract the attention of fellow students, but you also need to impress the teachers. If they don't believe you will be a suitable captain, even though you have the most votes, the senior teachers can override them.
You should be serious, but not too serious, to show you have what it takes to be a leader. But you should also be funny but not over the top, to show you have a good sense of humour and are approachable. Remember to mention your personal achievements, your aspirations and give reasons why you should be voted as the captain.


Here are some suggestions for a pinch of humour (or terrible puns). But remember to make the most of the speech professional. Only 10% at a maximum should be based on humour. Try not to place the humour too close together, space them apart in the speech.

  • "Most of the school captain speeches sound the same. They start with a quote, put in a couple of jokes and try ever so terribly to find the balance between inspiration and comedy. unfortunately ladies and gentlemen, this one will be no different."

  • "Good morning ladies and gentlemen. A great man/woman once said "Good morning ladies and gentlemen". That great man/woman was me."

  • "For those of you who recognise me... mum, dad, Jennifer Lawrence, thank you for coming, but do me a favour, please wait in the car."

  • "I have never done much sport/drama for school. My sporting/acting career was cut short due to lack of talent."

  • "I will take the S and the H out of 'school" and make it 'cool'."

  • "Thank you everybody for coming. I appreciate you all being here today. Except for the big guy who took my lunch money yesterday."

  • "You better vote for me. Because if you don't, I know what school you go to!"

  • "The headmaster/headmistress/principal just told us before we came on that the speech mustn't be about how cool we are. So I had five minutes to re-write it."

  • "Good morning fellow Britons/Americans, my name is David Cameron/Barack Obama, and today... oh hold on. Woops, sorry, wrong speech." (Throw the speech behind you, pull another out your pocket).

  • "Most people say that these captain speeches are just a popularity contest. Well, according to Facebook, I have a lot of friends."


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Azeem Akram Chaudhry

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βˆ™ 5mo ago
that was the best jokes I have ever seen

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βˆ™ 14y ago

=Hi,==I'm School Captain of my school. What i put into my speech was that i can be there to help others, I am kind, happy, giving, respectful and that i can give what ever i can to the school to make it a better place.=Source: My source is that you be yourself and you give it all you have. So be happy and cheerful and you will go very far in life.=I'm also in Primary School=

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βˆ™ 11y ago

add a couple of jokes in it.

not ones that will upset someone.

but ones that will make u be a class captain.

also make sure that you do act sensible as well.

do a quote at the beginning, joke at the middle an end an alot of details in between.

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βˆ™ 14y ago

This is how I started my speech

"GOOD AFTERNOON TEACHERS AND FELLOW STUDENTS MY NAME IS ??? AND I AM A NOMINEE FOR ??? SCHOOL CAPTAIN IN YEAR ???.

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Cailie Hicks

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βˆ™ 3mo ago

cpojrjfj jrhjghjkhkj hkjhrjrbl rbl brhrbrjreljherlgkjfdnjk

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Iona Bishop

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βˆ™ 7mo ago

go up after the last person and say β€œsame as them”

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reliablepickle1969

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βˆ™ 4mo ago

Captain Marvel, Captain America, Captain Underpants! Unfortunately, these are not the captains I'll be talking about today.

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βˆ™ 11y ago

"Teachers and children here my plea (your name) is who you need!"

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Q: How do you put a joke into a primary school captain speech?
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