If you are being abused, get away. If you have family or friends that can safely help, then have them come over, help you pack your things, and leave to somewhere safe.
If that would put you or them in an unsafe environment, then consider getting the aid of the police. If that is not possible, then as carefully as possible leave in the middle of the night and get as far away as you can.
There are many women's violence shelters in the US. Search for one in your area, you may also try calling 2-1-1 to find this information.
National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−SAFE(7233)
It depends. Some narcissists are subtle and not very malignant. Others are malignant. The malignant ones can be very abusive.
He's playing you like a fine fiddle. Narcissistic people are ego-maniacs, controllers and can be verbally abusive (even physically abusive at times.) They love to feel in control so "game playing" is high on their list and that's exactly what this guy is doing to you. A person that loves you does not treat you in this manner. Tell him to get lost! Get on your own two feet and become independent and think of the signs of this narcissistic ex-boyfriend and learn from your mistakes. There is never a happy ending in a narcissistic relationship.
Yes
Keep them away from the father and make an agreement with him not to be verbally abusive to your children
Move away, inform the police.
By keeping them away from their grandparents as much as you can - and by providing a counter example, by serving as role models of non-narcissistic conduct.
Yes - and they do it all over again. RUN AWAY ASAP!
Stay FAR FAR away from them both!
Not all gold-diggers are abusive or narcissistic. Some women just love money are use sex, their looks or anything else to pad their nests. If you see one stay away! Abuse is not about having a specific charcater or trait - it is a pattern of behaviors. A gold digger does not equal abuse or narcissism. A gold digger simply takes advantage of an opportunity to gain wealth. Sure if he claims to not have money even though he works and does not want to spend a single dime on you, AND if he does he'll get mad and complain about it throw it in your face and make you wish he never bought that egg mcmuffin for you.
Get rid of the spouse, or move away...
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Pay them attention and love them as much as you can...more if you were raised in a dysfunctional environment. And keep their father as far away as possible - I think that is what does even more damage than a distant mother, the abusive narcissistic parent is the one that forces them to retreat to a fantasy world where they are safe and omnipotent.