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"Narcissistic" is a description. If a person believes someone else is self-centered or selfish, they'll often describe that person as "narcissistic". A psychologist might diagnose someone as having “narcissistic personality disorder”. I'd have to guess this diagnosis is what you mean by a "true narcissist". Narcissistic personality disorder is treatable by a professional. Most psychologists use a book called The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders to review which particular symptoms make up a particular disorder. This book is called “The DSM” for short. The DSM defines "narcissistic personality disorder" as "a pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts." It provides a list of ten symptoms, and suggests that the diagnosis be made when five or more of those symptoms are present. The list is a bit too long to provide here, but you can find similar diagnostic information yourself by checking for a copy of the DSM at a library or bookstore, or finding a good text about psychology.

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19y ago
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18y ago

From my limited but excruciating experience these are some signs. They are master charmers, they will make you feel as though you are what they have been looking for, for eternity, they will lavish you with gifts, sex (if they are somatic), they will overdo everything, they are overly nice to the outside world as well. On the flip side; they will belittle you behind your back, control every aspect of your life, make you feel as if you are the problem, they will confuse you beyond belief, they WILL cheat, they are master liars, they manipulate, they have the ability to look you in the eyes and lie like you have NEVER SEEN, they will ultimately get tired of you and dump you like trash and then treat you as if they never knew you. They have NO empathy, they will kill your spirit. If you encounter one, RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN AND DO NOT LOOK BACK AS HARD AS IT MAY BE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope this helps and may God have mercy on you

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7y ago

Narcissism can be used to describe your state when you become absorbed with yourself and perhaps even become indifferent to the fate of others. Narcissistic people are often emotionally and physically abusive and they can also provoke others to be violent towards them.

The DSM-5 criteria for a diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) require that there is a:

"pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

  1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements).
  2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
  3. Believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions).
  4. Requires excessive admiration.
  5. Has a sense of entitlement (i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with is or her expectations).
  6. Is interpersonally exploitative (i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends).
  7. Lacks empathy, is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others. (Although quite frankly, some studies suggests narcissists are capable of empathy, catch up DSM!)
  8. Is often envious of others or believes others are envious of him or her.
  9. Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.
The most widely used assessment for narcissistic traits in the general public (we all have these traits to some extent) is the Narcissistic Personality Inventory (NPI).
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12y ago

Someone with a false sense of entitlement.believes he is always right and always has someone else to blame.ie mine hasnt worked 1 day in 4 years and all the bills have been on me alone.even eviction doesnt move him >moving doesnt move him.

is happy spending very impressable amounts of time on projects that are not practical or discued.someone who is appears happy in the sights of others.someone who really cares about what others think.Will not part with anything.Steals from u your friends and doesnt believe it theirs.amounts all flaws and justifys one thing or skill of theirs as compisation.Does not care about real problems in life assuming youll take care of it as usual.is happy never leaving the house and wants to be alone but not bythemselves.Accuses cheating and claiming evidence that"u know what it is,saying they dont need to say it."Makes a simple conversation long and drawn out and enhanced when relaying to others.

My man is a beautiful guy and i dont believe he means to be so damned cold.I cant leave him cause i dont want him lost yet i cant get anywhere in life due to serious lack of effort on his part.

oh yeah,does not defend his own when attacked.justifys everything.when u move,they just come along accept when the funriture part is in progress.

Cant i find a way to make it peacefull and less devestating.I cannot trust my own judgement in men any longer 5 yrs with him.

an

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11y ago

A person who expects people to do anything for them and give them everything even when they Have never earned the privilege or honor from another they still expect it. Yet to them no one else should expect them to return anything close to what they are. Given. And to expect them to appreciate you and appreciate every. Thing you have done and given Will be wrong to them. Because they feel as if that's your purpose in life if you want to keep them around in your life......

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12y ago

The true narcissist is a master at manipulation. As a matter of fact, they do not see themselves as manipulating anyone...they simply institute all the control they possibly can in a relationship and then stomp on that control at the earliest possible time in the relationship.

In the beginning, the narcissist will tell you extremely flattering things, convincing you that you are the "cream of the crop", deserving special treatment and is more than willing to give you that special treatment. They will continue to treat you like you are the only person in the world they could ever have any real feelings toward. They will "trick" you into believeing that the relationship is a "once in a lifetime" relationship. Once they have you in their grip (which is generally a surprisingly short period of time) they then begin the vicious cycle of arguing (passionately) and making up (equally passionately). Make no mistake concerning the N, he/she will shed as many tears as is necessary for you not to leave him/her. They will promise to do anything for you not to leave him/her (of, course they will rarely follow through with a promise). They will harass you into paying attention to them with any means they can muster...i.e...blow up your phone, show up wherever you are, write letters, and/or incorporate a third party into contacting you. They love the drama of break-up/make-up. It cements their sense of vanity and control. It cements their deep need for attention (good or bad attention is of no consequence to the N).

The narcissist is extremely vain, although at first appearance they mask the vanity by seeming to be humble; perhaps even shy and insecure about their appearance and/or intellect. Make no mistake, the true narcissist believes they are the best looking, the best acting, the smartest, the strongest, the absolute best of the best at everything they endeavor to do.

In a strange twist in the state of mind of a narcissist; they are actually the most insecure people you will ever meet. The N, in the deepest recess of his being, is the complete description of insecurity. It is truly sad considering the N is usually an extremely talented person, an extremely passionate person and a person who, minus the narcissism, could be extremely successful in anything they might endeavor to do. They haven't the capacity however; to sincerely feel the emotions of love, compassion or empathy.

A narcissist is completely and utterly void of that deep, untouchable feeling that normal people refer to as "heart-felt love." They simply do not possess the feelings and they never will. Narcissism seems to be a trait that is present at birth such as other natural traits, therefore; the narcissist will NEVER-EVER have the capacity to truly love another human being in relationships such as boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife.

It is my opinion that the N does indeed love their children however; it is not the same depth of love that you or I might have for our children. I think it is safe to say that the N does not possess that "bonded at birth" type of love for a child. The N senses that they should love their children (they can see that others love their children) but the N only scratches the surface of parental love. The N will ultimately use their children as a means to an end. They will not think twice about using the child as a pawn to prevent the husband/wife from leaving a marriage. They will attempt to use the child as a "show" to other people of how great a parent they are, when in reality, when they perceive no-one is looking, the child will have very little (if any) real parental contact with a N. The N will only spend time with their child (when no-one else is looking) in activities that interest the N.

A normal feeling human being should, at first realization, run, don't walk, away from a narcissist. A narcissist will ultimately tear the heart out of the person who loves them, stomp on it and then throw it away. Be forewarned that a N will be relentless in their attempts to keep you involved with them. They will only leave you alone when you make it absolutely, positively clear that the relationship is over. Oftentimes it requires an Order of Protection for the N to finally understand that the relationship is over. At this point the narcissist immediately moves on to a new relationship (probably with someone they have been secretely or non-secretely involved with for a large part of your relationship with him/her).

Do not convince yourself that you will be able to love a narcissist enough to change him/her. You won't. Do not convince yourself that you will be able to pay enough attention to a narcissist that they will require no attention from others. You won't. The only hope of surviving a narcissist unscathed is to avoid the narcissist from the moment you realize they are a true narcissist.

I realize this is a rather long answer however; I wasted ten years trying to make a relationship with a narcissist work. In the end I finally pulled out of the driveway, put the rearview mirror up and never looked back. At this point (seven years later) I am spending a great deal of time protecting our son from the damage that is being caused by the emotional void that is his father. If you ever needed to accept advice from another human being, please take this advice: Do not make the narcissist person show you more than one time that they are a narcissist. Believe it the first time they show you and then leave them alone. There a millions of fish in the sea that aren't narcissistic and you deserve to be treated fairly and lovely. You will be treated with neither while in a relationship with a narcissist.

Finally; never stop praying to God for the salvation of a narcissist. I truly believe that narcissism is a mental disorder therefore; deserving of our compassion and empathy. We are the opposite of narcissists, having the capacity to wish them well...at a distance.

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13y ago

Obsessive precoccupation or concern about oneself. Bragging, selfishness, neglect or dismissal of the concerns, problems, opinions, or well-being of others. Intense competitiveness or inability to cope with failures, defeats, or letdowns. Overachieving at the expense of friendships, family, personal health, or other aspects of one's personal life.

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