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It is shortsighted to think of everything that is said seriously or emotionally as abuse, but things can get out of hand in a relationship if there are issues that go unresolved for a long time. I remember reading a column by Leon Hale (Houston Chronicle) some years ago where he said that he and the present wife decided that they would not say unkind words to each other. Ever. That way, you have a safe home environment (as opposed to work and other places) and can have a happier relationship with one another. Personally, I would enjoy the lack of drama and surprise when my partner said something positive and helps to resolve an issue calmly. We live in a world of labels and it just makes it easier to discuss. Physical, mental and emotional abuse all have smaller branches of themselves. Whats sad is that the cycle doesn't get broken because people have no fear of the consequences. What good is a restraining order if the person is out on the street. They still have access and they are blind with anger and will stop at nothing. They don't care what the law says they weigh their options on the fact that people don't want to get involved anymore, the system doesn't work and their is no justice which are all in an abusers favor, sick world we live in. I say eye for an eye, forget putting these maniacs in jail and feeding them for 25 years or longer or less. I say put all the real hardened criminals on a island in the middle of the ocean that couldn't possible be livable and impossible for them to leave by sea, let them fend for themselves their and take one another out and suffer for the rest of their days.. I don't think they deserve to breathe the same air as the rest of us that do our civil duty and abide by the law... and make a contribution to this world every day.. The above posters are absolutely correct. I believe there is too much labeling going on. No on really knows what true abuse is short of someone punching you in the face, beating you up and constantly tearing down the very fiber of your being. I've been married for almost 35 years and my husband and I have had our share of arguments. The one thing we learned from many of those arguments is to leave each other alone long enough to cool down and then sit down and talk it out and take a little or each other's opinions and work with it. Pushing on occasion or even shoving slightly is not abuse in my books. It happens! People simply aren't perfect and one partner can sure get on another partner's nerves. So, we must be careful about labeling our partners as abusive.

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Q: Is everything considered abuse these days and is it possible to live in a sterile relationship where not one unkind word is spoken?
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