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Spanking never leads anywhere. You need to take away things she likes. I don't know what that is since I don't know her but you do. Take the computer away, phone and TV privileges etc. Tell her she can not go to the party she was supposed to. There are many things you can do but spanking is not the answer. That only makes her more angry and scared and that is not what you want your relationship with your daughter to be about. There are also great books to understand what is going on in a 8yo life. Kids have many stages in their life and tons of things are happening that we don't know of. There is way more to it then just the terrible two's and puberty. There's a whole world in between.

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Q: If your 8 year old daughter keeps disrespecting you and her adopted mom can you spank her and if so how should you do it?
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