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You might need to rethink your definition of being nice. Being nice doesn't mean being a doormat or always saying yes to others. If others force you into a position where you have to stand up for yourself, there is no need to feel guilty about it.
You might also want to be more selective with who you are nice to. You shouldn't be treating everyone like they are your best friend, or it cheapens it for those who do really care about. Some of the most effective bosses rarely smile or give compliments, so when they finally do so, it actually means something. A wife may kiss her husband, but she probably should not be kissing every man on the street. Strangers often mistake kind gestures for other things. It is common for women to smile or wave at strangers, and this is mostly a cultural thing, and it means nothing else to them. It doesn't mean they are looking for partners or anything, but being nice because they are nice and because society expects it. But people who have a different culture or operate from a different script might read things into that which are not there.
When engaging someone who is bullying you, the main thing to do is to stand firm and don't back down. You don't have to do what they do back to them, and you may even decide to take some of their abuse. You don't have to take it, but it is wise to choose your battles carefully. It is also appropriate to use a reasonable level of force to stop any physical harm to yourself or third parties. If someone grabs you and won't let go, and you get in a jab and are able to run away, then that is reasonable force. But if they are just there calling you names and you body slam them, that is excessive force. Just remember that sometimes you have to fight hard to stay alive to get to be nice to people.
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