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1. Simply say "Hi!" (Nothing else beats this!) and introduce yourself "I'm Peter".

2. Comment on the activity that the individual is doing and ask questions about it. For example, if the individual is reading a news article, simply comment "Wow, this photograph really illustrates the importance of family ties, doesn't it?"

3. Compliment the individual. For instance if the lady is wearing a sleek high heels, perhaps you can comment, "That's a pretty sleek pair of heels you've got. Where did you buy them?" When it comes to praising, be sincere and honest. You'll sound hypocritical or insincere if you praise things that come across as common.

4. Besides compliments, you can choose to ask questions that are neutral, non-intrusive, and yet relates to the individual. "Do you come here often? I heard that the Fish & Chips are good, what do you think?" Most people love to talk about themselves hence an open question gets them going.

5. Relate the initial conversation with small talks such as "I heard that the restaurant down the street offers great Fish & Chips too! Beers with Fish & Chips is simply awesome, don't you think so?" Small talks include related topics within the community, website, relevant news, kids, vacation etc.

6. Be thoughtful and observant about the individual's response. If the individual is unresponsive or uncomfortable, perhaps you should avoid persisting too much. Reflect on your questions, some people may be sensitive to topics such as weight issue, academic qualification. If the individual is looking at a watch, you should either change the topic or shorten the conversation.

7. Center the conversation on the topic instead of yourself. When the individual open questions back on you, talk about the topic itself or answer with a question. "Well, I jog twice a week. The breeze while jogging and the scenery - it is perfect! Where do you usually jog?" This way, the individual starts thinking, recounting and talking again.

8. Poke fun at yourself. This is a great way to build the relationship when the conversation partner and you know each other but not to the extent of being good friends. You will find yourself having an enjoyable time being teased at!

9. Exit the conversation politely. You can choose to go back to find your friends or simply grab a drink. If you meet someone that you know, notify your conversation partner and move away.

10. Practice! Nothing beats practicing. You will find yourself initiating conversation easily in no time!

Additional tips:

1. Avoid sensitive topics like politics, religion, race, conflict, gender, philosophy and criticism. Instead of criticizing, comment that improvement or intervention is needed. Criticizing may leave an impression of whiny, immature, petty, aggressive or negative.

2. Acknowledge the individual's reaction. "Oh, I see", "Awesome, isn't it", "Wow, that is quite impressive", "Really? No kidding!".

3. Be open about your body language- maintain eye contact and avoid slouching. Lean slightly forward when listening; this indicates that you are paying attention. Occasionally, nod in agreement.

4. Smile! Smiling is contagious. When you smile, the individual will most probably return a smile. However, avoid forcing a smile or laughter under inappropriate circumstances. Smiling while discussing a recent typhoon is definitely inappropriate.

5. Chuck all the negativity, insecurity and self-doubt out of the window! It is natural to think that you are boring or feel uneasy. Rests assure that everyone else feels the same way. Instead of focusing on yourself, you should focus on getting the conversation interesting for both you and the individual.

6. Be patient and listen. Often, we can't wait to speak our mind that we neglect the conversation partner's point of view. Listening opens up our mind and engages the other individual. However, you can speak about your idea and ask for opinion. "This book is really engaging. I really hope that the author is planning for a sequel. What do you say? Do you think that this should be the perfect ending or you look forward to a sequel?"

7. Be polite and courteous. "Thank you" and "May I" are some basic courtesy that everyone should say in any conversation. Besides this, under no circumstances should the individual be interrupted. Insulting, disrespectful and arrogant behaviors should also be avoided.

8. Avoid mumbling. Speak confidently and clearly. The last thing you wish to happen is the individual getting frustrated repeatedly saying "Sorry" or "Can you repeat? I can't understand you".

9. If you are shy, have one or two topics ready before saying "Hi". Chatoms.com is a great site to find random conversation starters.

10. Keep yourself updated with the news. Latest events and news are relevant and relatable.

11. There are instances when you are unsure if the conversation starter is relevant or interesting. One way to overcome this is to watch and learn from stand up comedians. Comedians usually grab the audience's attention with humorous conversation starters. The good side to this? You do not have to worry if the conversation starter is interesting as long as it is funny!

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10y ago
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16y ago

Introduce yourself first.

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Q: How do you have a conversation?
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