How do you live with family abuse and cruelty?

Answer 1

When you are living with an abusive person, it is best to know;

1. What type of abuse is it? Emotional, verbal, physical or any form of abuse.

2. Who is the abuse targeted to? Is it only to you, or it is also the same behavior to other people.

3. What causes the abuse? It is because of it is a personality trait or is it because of someones dislike or envy of you, is it because they think you are intruding in their life or they do not like your behavior or is the behavior learned, maybe from the parents or peers?

4. Solve the underlying problem. Talk to the person about why they treat you that way. Do not be harsh or interrupt when they are talking. If they do not want to tell you, encourage them by suggesting an answer e.g does me watching the tv make you angry?, do not start by blaming them as this will only cause them to be defensive which can lead to further abuse, Forgive them for all they have done and ask to start again, do not remind them of there bad deed.

5. Have patience, people do change but they cannot change overnight. If they agree to stop the abuse, be patient and correct them lovingly. Avoid harsh reactions. Advise them to seek counselling or therapy as well.

6. Encourage them if they accept to. If they don't, ask if they can make themselves better and if so what is their plan of action.

6. Stay away from them, even if you are close together, give them their space so that they will have no one to abuse or lash out to.

7. Have a safety plan. What will you do to prevent or avoid or be safest when the abuse is imminent? Who will you call? Do you have a back up plan for you or the other abused.

8. If the abuse gets more serious or is life threatening e.g child sexual abuse, incest, rape, battering, SEEK HELP IMMEDIATELY for yourself or the abused and get out of that situation.

Answer 2

You don't. Call the police, tell a teacher, school counciler, or ask a friend for help. You can also go to a shelter for battered women and children. Despite the name they help guys to.