How can you help your daughter if you believe she married a Narcissist?

Answer 1

It's true that children often pick up habits from their parents, but also genetics are involved. You didn't mention if you were still married to your husband and if so, then perhaps it's time to consider a separation for now and try for full custody so it will give you a chance to straighten your daughter out. You know the quote "Out of sight, out of mind." At first you will have your hands full because he is her father, but this is simply the only resolution. Well, it is hereditary, but is activated by the way the child is treated. By the age of 8, you should know whether she's a narcissist or not. Narcissism takes hold at about age 3. By age 6, it's pretty much irreversible. I have an 8-year-old niece who has a narcissistic father. She shows strong signs of narcissism. She will stand in a doorway and refuse to move when asked. She will take a baby's food and eat it and ask for more. She insists that her grandmother wipe her when she goes to the toilet, and makes her grandmother carry and hold her, although she is almost as heavy as her grandmother. She stares at adults unblinkingly, and asks them rude questions about their personal affairs and mocks them. She takes items out of the hands of adults and children alike with no thought for the other person. This is narcissistic behavior in an 8-year-old. My niece wasn't raised around her father, but she was raised in daycare quite a lot. There, they couldn't or didn't know to foster empathy in her. Apparently her mother wasn't able to do this either. She was also around my ex a lot at age 3, and he is a narcissist. Narcissism runs heavy in his family. I believe my daughter does not have it at this time. But she is only 2 and is still susceptible. I am working with her very closely on empathy and on recognizing other's emotions and kindness. When she gets a little older we will work on such issues as truth and honesty and talk about why others might lie. Consistency and truthfulness is extremely important. Also one must NEVER bend the rules. A child with narcissistic genes must not be given the message that they are the exception to the rule. Humility and ordinary-ness is good for these children. I try to emphasize to my child that she may be smart or pretty, but so are others and she's not entitled to special privileges because of that. She has to get with the program like everybody else. It's a sticky issue and really challenging to deal with. Obviously, it's super-important that she not be exposed to her dad. I'm actually considering moving across the country to avoid that side of the family. One thing, I'd never leave the daughter alone with the father. Narcissistic fathers are emotionally abusive, and even worse, known for sexual molestation. I'd really, really watch her. Good luck to you.

Answer 2

It is to your best interest to start communicating with your girlfriend or wife and don't nail her right away about the way she treats her son. Before she met you she probably had to raise that child on her own and that's one hard road to go down. She doesn't realize that you are there to help her now. You need to make her realize this so she can lighten up on her son a little. She's worked hard at raising her son and she doesn't want him to get into trouble. There are two sides to this mother/son issue so be wary. When you get around to telling her you don't feel she is treating her son all that well (she will hit the roof so beware) try working together so both of you stick together on any discipline that may be needed to curb a growing boy. You could be doing much more (perhaps you have.) You could get her son involved in a sport, take him fishing, hunting, etc. That would bond the both of you together and give his mom a much need rest and some time for herself. You could also do some nice things for her such as buying her flowers once in awhile or taking her out for dinner and away from the environment she seems to be annoyed in. BE VERY AWARE kids can play mind games by playing one parent against the other. He could well be playing you like a fine fiddle. I have 2 nephews and they lie like sidewalks at times to get what they want. I'm smart enough to talk to their mom or dad and almost 99% of the time the story I'm getting from my nephews has no resemblance to what is the actual truth.

Answer 3

If the person is an adult, you would be wise to avoid dealing with him/her at all. You are not responsible for their personality disorder, and attempting to ameliorate it will only lead to more problems than you have already. You can get support at this site: http://thepsychopath.freeforums.org/

Answer 4

She married him for her own reasons. It is best to stay completely out of it unless an emergency arises. Narcissists are experts at turning partners against family.

If, on the other hand, her husband is abusing her, you should report it to the police when you are sure it can be proven. Until then, try to remain neutral. She is far better off if she has you to come to when needed, rather than counting you as one who cannot be supportive -- or who is likely to say "I told you so."

Answer 5

Well, pretty much all teenagers are narcissistic, to a certain extent. Part of growing up is figuring out who you are, and that in turn requires that you spend a lot of time thinking about yourself. Also, teenagers are immature, not just physically, but emotionally, and narcissism goes hand-in-hand with immaturity.

If you think that your daughter is beyond normal teenage narcissism, and may actually be a full-blown narcissist (like, in the clinical sense of the word) then the first step would be to have a psychiatrist analyze her.

Answer 6

My advise is DONT try and counter childhood narcissism. Children need training in empathy. They dont naturally know what is acceptable behavior and what is not. As a parent good behavior should be rewarded, bad behavior should be explained and sanctions emposed if it is repetative. No hitting, no name calling and no withdrawl of affection should be done at all. They will get the message as to what works and what wont. CRITICISM IS FORBIDDEN>it only hurts it doe not correct.

Answer 7

Always improve their self esteem,do things with them like sports, show love and affection and tell them about narcissism when they are old enough,and tell them that you are there for them,always.

Answer 8

Get a copy of JUST LIKE HIS FATHER by Dr. Leedom