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Do you have liar jokes

Updated: 4/28/2022
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12y ago

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I have more liar jokes than anyone in the world! (he said)

---------------

"I am the biggest liar in the world", said Pat.

"No, you're not," said Mick, "I am!"

"Prove it, then," says Pat

Mick says, "Last week I swam UP Niagara falls!"

"I know," says Pat, "I saw you."

---

Newsman: "Mr. Mayor, why is it that your opponent in the election says such terrible things about you, while you only say what a good job he's done on the city council?"

Mayor: "Maybe we are both lying."

---

Girl to guy: "You are such a terrible liar. You said you owned a Rolls-Royce and a Jaguar, and I've never seen either one."

Guy: "I keep them parked at my estate in France."

Girl: "You don't own an estate in France. I've never heard of you flying to Europe."

Guy: "I use my private plane."

Girl: "You don't have a private plane. There's none registered in your name."

Guy: "That's because I use a fictitious name for tax purposes."

IRS agent: "Is that so? We've heard enough. Come with us!"

Guy to girl: "Wait! Tell them I was making all that up!"

Girl: "Don't worry. I'll tell your chauffeur to have your pilot call your lawyer."

---

Guy to Girl: "You're looking for a pet? I'll sell you my dog for $10. He's in the back."

Girl goes in back, says "Hi, Doggie! I'm thinking of buying you."

Dog: "Oh, man. I knew he'd do this."

Girl: "Wow! You can talk?"

Dog: "Yeah, I've been living here since I left the CIA. I helped them overthrow two governments and stole secret information from the KGB."

Girl goes back in front: "I can't believe you'd sell that dog for just $10."

Guy: "Are you kidding? He never worked for the CIA. He's lying."

---

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