How do you combat the narcissist bothering you?

Answer 1

Answer

There is not this huge group of narcissists like the KKK waiting "to get you." Often people who are perfectionists or self absorbed have been ill-labeled with being a "narcissist." Actually, nailing down the personality of a narcissist is very difficult even for the professionals so I hardly feel we could be a good judge of who is a narcissist (unless you live with one) and who isn't. Some people can be just plain self-centered and ego-trippers and I know plenty of them. I don't classify them under "narcissistic." I treat people with respect and if I find one or more aren't treating me with the same respect then I move on. We all are in control of our own lives and we should choose our relationships carefully; otherwise we simply waste our energy and can get hurt.

It's as simple as meeting someone and they either have poor hygiene, they are rude and crude or they just don't make you feel good inside and you're suspicious, then it's time to walk away. Whether they be a true narcissist or not doesn't really matter. If someone makes you feel bad most of the time then kick them to the curb.

Answer

Ha! I asked the original question and I like your answer. I guess I am feeling a little paranoid about the narcissist thing. I read somewhere that "narcissists are a breed-like pit bulls." I guess that could be humorous. I am a little afraid of dealing with one again. It's really a no -brainer. If they treat you like crap,LEAVE.PERIOD. Right?

Answer

I answered your question and you got it girl! You have every right to be a little paranoid for a bit, but think of it this way ... you got a good short-cut in life in how to pick a more decent man. LOL We all have some losers in our past. Narcissists are a breed like pitbulls, but, they aren't as multiple as one may think. No one should ever treat you with disrespect if you don't deserve it and that goes for family, friends and boyfriends (or husbands.) You just fell in love and you aren't stupid or less of a person for being taken in. Narcissistic people can play other people like a fine fiddle and the victim doesn't even know it. They are sly and crafty and highly intelligent people, but too bad they didn't use that intelligence for more meaningful things.

Sounds like you are going to just do fine girl! Pick out a nice guy, perhaps someone on the shy side, but nice. Since you are more wary of choosing the wrong guy stick with your girlfriends and there is nothing wrong with double-dating or going out to a club in a group-setting. If you meet someone you like don't invite them into your apartment and keep them at a bit of a distance until you get to know them better. Even narcissists can't pull the "good guy" off for too lengthly a period.

Good luck!

Another imput:

Hi there, I myself have recently realized that my past 2 years of a relationship was centered completely around a cerebral narcissist. Oh my gosh what turmoil!!!!!! I had never felt so out of control at the end. I did things to punish myself that I never imagined doing (overdosing on prescriptions, cutting myself) just to end the pain and the worthlessness I was feeling about myself because the relationship didn't work out and he didn't care at all about my feelings or pain. On one hand I despise him, but on the other hand I pity him. But I have to realize and STICK TO IT that he never had smitten feelings for me because it's me and my well-being. He had "smitten" feelings because I gave him his main source of narcissistic supply of attention. They are monsters...narcissists are complete monsters. I fell for that wonderful treatment for the first 8 months we were together, and I was dying a slow painful death from then on until recently. I'm just now starting to get my self-esteem and self-worth back to normal again. I can't stand narcissists and I'm definitely overly paranoid now about men.

Answer 2

You stay busy either with your family, friends, career or anything you can to stop from thinking about these Vampires and the emotions they suck from you. Stay strong as they demand constant attention and if they are not getting it from you they usually move on to their next victim.

It can be difficult but you must ignore them at all costs. Do not give them any attention what so ever or you will be right back at square one. The best way to get rid of them is to completely ignore them. No phone calls, no talking to them, no reaction to what they do either nothing. They want your attention in anyway they can get it. You can not rationalize with these monsters either.

Try to keep yourself around people as much as possible so they have no chance of getting you alone to begin their torture of breaking you down emotionally. This is extremely important that you do not allow yourself to ever be caught out alone with these things (yes that is what I call them because they are not human to me). The one I dealt with began to stalk me to no end. I continued to call the police and made sure I was not alone. After a month of giving him no attention, no response to his crap he finally moved on to his next victim and left me alone.

You see they can not bear not to obtain attention as that is what they crave the most. They lie and swoop in quickly wanting a fast move-in relationship and others want a quick marriage then they begin to isolate you for control purposes and then begin to break you down emotionally. That is their pattern. Severe ones are physically abusive and others are emotionally abusive and yet others will stalk you just to try to scare you back to them. They will make promises and do anything to get you back as they are panicking because they are about to loose their food. That food is your attention.

If you have a severe one get a restraining order in place and notify the police so they are informed. Tell all your friends and family and make sure you are not alone. You may feel embarrassed to involve everyone but it is for your safety and besides your friends and family care about you. Best of luck to you!

Answer 3

Trick question. Narcissists don't stalk people. They are too busy worrying about what makes them happy.

My ex-husband a narcissist started a campaign of harrassment and stalking when I filed for divorce and moved out. I felt very intimidated by his behaviour. He would sit in his car watching my house and whoever came and went. What frightened him off? Evidence! I took a photo of him on my mobile camera and you have never seen someone drive off so fast. He never did it again. I am not sure if this would work for everyone though as when a narcissist is thwarted they can find an even nastier way of intimidation.