Can narcissists be faithful in relationships AND how do you tell if it's cheating or if they are using confusion tactics to get attention or hurt you?

Answer 1

1. Did a doctor diagnose the person as having a personality disorder involving Narcissism? Too often, a person is called that, when the only reason is that he/she doesn't agree with the other's goals or hopes.

Always putting oneself ahead of others might mean narcissism. Or it may be that it's a normal person who doesn't agree with where you feel things should be going, or whether you two should even be.

2. That said, a real narcissist could be faithful. A person who thinks greatly of themselves might well believe cheating to be beneath them. Or, he could equally as well feel that he had a right to any other, and that it's none of your business.

3. But you go on to ask "if it's cheating or if they are using confusion tactics to get attention or hurt you". Inner motivations are never to be known for sure, but in this case it hardly matters. Mainly for the end result being the same.

A. He's cheating, so clearly does not want a committed relationship, or care if you leave him.

B. He's pretending to so as to hurt you. A sign he does not want a committed relationship and hopes you'll leave him.

C. He's pretending to so as to get attention. Who does this? The only kind of attention that gets is the other wishing to break up with the cheater. Again then, he is seeking a break up, or doesn't care if it occurs.

So there is a person who may or may not be a narcissist, but in either case is showing all the signs of not caring about you, and who is either cheating or wants you to think there's cheating.

The only thing that boils down to is this: As described in the question, the good odds are is that he simply does not want a relationship, and is engaging in these behaviors because he feels it's the only way you'll leave.